4. Go to Mexico

Pulling into port in Cozumel.

On the beach. In January(!!!).

Alcohol.


More alcohol.


Para-sailing.


More alcohol. Go Granny!


I'll post pictures from the Mayan ruins and other cruise highlights when I have a better Internet connection.

Read 50 books that aren't for school (5/50)

Recently finished two books I borrowed from Jacque (the font really makes this look like it's spelled wrong): The Last Lecture and Brooklyn Follies.

The Last Lecture was pretty inspirational, but the effect faded quickly and I've reverted back to my lazy ways. eh.

I HATED the way Brooklyn Follies ended. The rest of the book was pretty good, but oh! that ending. Hint: Typical cliche ending for a book set in New York in fall 2001.

I guess all the books I read from now on will be books that aren't for school. sweet.

A case of the I wants

Mr. P tape dispenser. So cute.

A few completions and failures: 1, 23, 55, 61, 78, 79, 81

1. Read 50 books that aren't for school (3/50).

I just finished reading Straight Up and Dirty: A Memoir, by Stephanie Klein. I enjoyed it, but if sex makes you uncomfortable, then it's not a book I would recommend. I read Stephanie Klein's blog every so often and picked up her book when it was $0.01 on amazon. Honestly, the book didn't seem as dirty and scandalous as people had told me it was going to be, but maybe I'm just crass. Brandon and I had a 45 minute conversation about poop the other day and high fives for sex are frequent in the Wellborn house. Anyway, SUAD was a good read. I'll probably check out the TV show when it comes out next year.

23. Earn an A in at least two classes my last semester of college.

I'm not quite ready to call this one since final grades have not been posted on the official website, but I'm pretty sure I got one A, one S (for "satisfactory" in my pass/fail kineseology class), three B's, and a C (in statistics!!!!!! so that kind of feels like an A). I know most people wouldn't be happy with those grades, but I've never really cared to much about GPA. I don't have plans for grad school or anything like that, so I'll proudly graduate with a 2.75.

61. Make a great graduation present for Vanessa.

See, what had happen was....

Vanessa is OBSESSED with socks, so when I saw these at Bath & Body Works, I knew immediately that I couldn't make anything better. She loves them.

78. Be able to do 25 real push ups at once by December 1, 2008.

This is difficult and takes me a while, but I can totally do it. I rule.

79. Cook dinner with my roommates at least once a week until graduation.

I can't even think of a week where we cooked less than 3 nights.

81. Throw some sort of graduation celebration with Vanessa.

This isn't happening either. We are graduating on different nights and both have lots of family and friends coming into town. Basically, we can't find a time good for everyone and our house is too small. Oh well. Ummmmm..... did I mention I graduate on Saturday??

Divorce

I started jmo101in1001.blogspot.com in August to chronicle my 1001 day challenge. Lately, the focus of jmo101in1001 has shifted away from my challenge and more toward chronicling everything else going on in my life. While it is great to be blogging about my last semester of college, my relationships, the hills and what I'd really like to buy if given all the money in the world, it has caused my 101 list to take a back seat. So, I'm re-devoting jmo101in1001 to my 1001 day challenging and have started "yo jmo" to deal with everything else. I intend to actively post on both blogs. Divorcing these two goal should help me to recommit to the 101 in 1001 days challenge. Or, here's hoping, at least.

1. Read 50 books that aren't for school (2/50)

Listen, I'm only owning up to this once -- I just read Sisterhood of the Traveling pants by Anne Brashares in under 24 hours.

Compromise

I have a temporary job for after graduation at Adecco. It will run through January or early February, at which point I will be laid off as the company moves to New York. Then I can move on to accomplishing goal #19.

Bonus: I definitely get to go on my cruise!

80. Have a real ring dunk celebration

I dunked my ring on Friday night with Jason and Angie.


We even managed to not end up covered in beer.


Angie put Jason and me to shame, chugging hers in 21 seconds. I came in second with 51 seconds.

Now, I would appreciate it if we could skip the Aggie jokes. It gets a little old getting made fun of anytime I do try to make the best of my current situation and enjoy myself in College Station. That aside, it was a fun night.

Anticipation

It always hurts when the thing you look most forward to turns out to be the worst part of your day.

Just once, I'd like to be the one in control.

What comes out.

Why do we hate?

Why do we use our words to destroy others?

I girl I meet briefly this summer died this week. We were not friends. She probably would not have remembered my name if I had bumped into her on the street. I had completely forgot that she existed until I found out that she didn't anymore. We could not have spent more than 2 hours in the same room as one another, ever. Frankly, she had had no effect on my life whatsoever and I was not even a blip on the radar in her short life. Yet I feel extremely uncomfortable. Not necessarily sad, but strange, for sure. The news of her death has left me feeling deeply disappointed in myself. Why?

In the 3 seconds that our worlds overlapped, I was rude. Not rude to her, but about her. Behind her back, like a coward. She had done nothing to me, but I felt compelled to laugh at her and mock her behind her back, right along with everyone else. I did not know anything about her, but that did not stop me from spewing negativity. Did she know what I was doing or care? Probably not. She did know that she was not really welcome, I'm sure. It's hard to miss that vibe. I contributed to that vibe.

So, here is my question: why do we allow our own opinions to be impacted, or even formed entirely, by others?
Yes, it is weakness, to some extent, but it's also a desire to fit in, I think. And I am sure there is more to it than just that.
Why is our culture so accepting and almost encouraging of this behavior?

I will be honest with myself and admit that the only reason I even gave her another thought is because she died. I could have gone through the rest of my life never once considering the implications of the way I treat others or the extent to which I allow my opinions to be formed by the opinions of others. But she did die, and regardless of how little of an impact we had on each others' lives, her death has got me thinking now. Feeling guilty, but also thinking. That is important. I don't want regret or guilt to be a major theme in my life.

It is time to make a change, to grow, and to be better. I am dedicating it all to her.

What would a maverick do? Also know as an excuse to show off Andrew's mad carving skills

A few weeks ago I begged Andrew to carve a pumpkin with me. One handful of slimy orange goo later, and I was over it. However, he was a trooper and stuck it out, and after two hours of some pretty intense carving, we had ourselves a jack-o'-lantern of sorts.

I am proud to present Andrew's Masterpiece (which I was absolutely worthless in helping create).

The inspiration:
The result:

I did Halloween a little different this year. I didn't dress up as a hippie, an animal of any sort, or throw on my favorite lingerie and pretend it was a legitimate costume. No, I didn't even make my "I was going to be Sarah Palin for Halloween, but the RNC wouldn't loan me $150,000" sign. In fact, I did not dress up at all. I did not even go out. This Halloween I decided to get my maverick on and not celebrate the day at all.


And by that I mean I waited too long to get a costume. Oh, and Andrew works lame hours.

Obama/Biden '08

Well, we made the main page at CNN.com. How embarrassing. Then again, I shouldn't really be surprised that the YCT chose shock value over effectiveness or responsibility.

In other news, Andrew and I voted last weekend, so I can mark #24 and #25 off the list.

There was a better way to do it

Today on campus:

• Throw away your nest egg at Obama's economic policies... which were not posted anywhere on the egg-toss target (or in 3 miles of the egg-toss target) until members of the football and track teams showed up and stood in front of Obama's face to protect it
  
• Socialist on a stick; Obama ring toss
  

Generally, I find it much more effective to be for something, rather than against something. You want me to consider John McCain? Great. Then tell me why you support him, not why you don't support Barack Obama. Give me the reasons you think McCain is the better choice instead of telling me you are voting for him because you think Obama is a socialist. That's when I'll take you seriously.


There is a right way to do things and a wrong way.


This was not the right way.

While I am ashamed of Texas A&M for approving this event in the first place, I am even more appalled that they allowed it to take place outside the Memorial Student Center, the heart of the university, on a day that hundreds of high school seniors were touring the campus. What kind of image does this portray? Texas A&M tolerates and condones intolerance and extremism? Yeah, that's the message I got, too.

I was, however, proud to see so many of my fellow Aggies, both Democrats and Republicans, uniting against this grotesque demonstration.

A year end resolution

• Give up (recreational) drinking.

I've known that this needed to happen for a while, but stubbornness and denial had kept me from making it a priority. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder over 4 years ago and was told at that time that drinking would probably never be something that I could do, at least not without running the risk of being confronted by an additional set of alcohol related consequences that most emotionally stable 20-somethings (do these people exist?) don't even have to consider as a possibility. In addition to the generally negative pairing of bipolar disorder and alcohol, my medication for treating "the crazy" increases the effects of alcohol tenfold, which is something I was warned about in advance and chose to disregard. I am absolutely astonished that even though I knew I would get drunk more easily and be less able to control myself once I started drinking, I chose to drink anyway. I actually managed to make myself believe that it was worth the risk.

After being diagnosed I gave up drinking for a long time. Then I got tired of the reactions I got from other people. "No thanks" never seemed to be a sufficient response when offered a drink. I always felt the need to qualify it with something. "I can't because of [insert to much information here], so no thanks" got me the "I really didn't need to know that" look. But to not explain meant I was met with that eye roll. The "Oh, look at you. Miss Prude. Miss Too Good To Drink With Us" eye roll. In reality, no one gave a shit, but "the crazy" didn't allow me to see that clearly. In my mind, at least, I couldn't win. It was awful. I felt awful. So, rather than work on my self esteem issues (because that's hard) or do what was in my best interest (because that requires self esteem), I started allowing my self to drink. And the worst part was that I used the perceived reactions of others to justify taking the easy way out.

And then there were the consequences.

When I first started drinking again, I was so guarded that I don't think any real problems surfaced. It was when I got comfortable with not only drinking when I shouldn't have been, but also with the people I was drinking with, that my behavior became a problem. Over the past 18 months, and especially the past six months, as the crazy has tightened its grip and the mood cycling has gotten worse, I have put people I truly care about in awkward situations. They listened, which I appreciate (and needed), but it was inappropriate of me to ever put them in those uncomfortable situations. The actual conversations are not the problem. It is the circumstances leading up to the talks that I have a problem with. I was out of control. Yes, I could blame it on the fact that once I start drinking, I really can't control myself, but that ignores the real problem. I made the decision to drink knowing that I wouldn't be able to control myself after the fact. I got that second (and third and fourth and tenth) drink despite being fully aware that I would spend the next 72 hours simply floating through my day, just trying not to cry. I weighed my options and seriously came to the conclusion that drinking was better than not spending the next 3 days in a fog of deep depression, not embarrassing myself, and not making others uncomfortable. And absolutely nothing about that is acceptable.

I justified my actions to myself by saying that it didn't happen every time I drank, but really my sanity, my self esteem, my friendships and my reputation are not worth the risk. I don't want to get drunk anymore. Even if something bad happens only once every 20 times I drink, it is just not worth it to me anymore. I'll have one drink with dinner occasionally or while watching a movie at Alamo Drafthouse, but one is officially my limit (and the big Plucker's Lemonade does not count as one). There have been times when all it takes is two drinks to cause a problem (Saturday, a few unfortunate nights last semester), while other nights it may take ten (September 27, most of this summer). IT IS NOT WORTH IT.

So, after months of making the wrong decision, I'm going to make the right one --I'm not going to drink as a recreational activity anymore. I matter (Look! Self esteem!). If someone thinks I'm being stuck up or prude, that is just fine (oh, snap, there it is again). I don't want to cry for three days because of something that was preventable. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable because of a poor choice. In this situation, I am resolving to make the healthy choice instead of the easy choice or the more socially acceptable choice. I am willing to be the black sheep, the "party-pooper" and your DD (and I mean both designated driver and drunk dial, because both can be extremely entertaining).

Time to heal.

What is wrong with me?

Last night I watched Beetlejuice instead of studying for my Urban Administration exam. Last night I found the Alec Baldwin of 1988... attractive. I'm blaming it on his glasses. I have a thing for guys with glasses. Obviously.